Mentality Monday: Joshua & Niki on Narcissism
- Joshua U.
- Oct 27
- 3 min read
narcissism (n)
1: egoism, egocentrism
excessive interest in oneself and concern for one's own welfare or advantage at the expense of or in disregard of others
a personality disorder characterized especially by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, persistent need for admiration, lack of empathy for others, excessive pride in achievements, and snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes
One of the premier diagnoses of our times, narcissism is a reflection not only of an apparent trend in mental illness but also of the strains and distortions in the lives of essentially healthy people. — Robert Karen
Baseball star Alex Rodriguez kissing his reflection in the mirror; a comically apt depiction of narcissism. | THE DETAILS MAGAZINE, 2009
"Ugh, you're such a narcissist."
"I can't believe they did that! They have to be a narcissist."
Most people today are fairly familiar with the concept of narcissism. The main reason for this is because it has become a sort of buzzword in today's society and culture, used flippantly to highlight self-centered, vain, and overly egotistic traits in people.
These carefree mentions of the word narcissism unfortunately have a way of downplaying just how serious and destructive the disorder can be. Yes, it is a medically diagnosed disorder: narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
'The Narcissism Spectrum,' | SPIN CYCLE COACHING
The main goal for Niki and I on this episode of Mentality Monday was to make one thing clear: while one may showcase very clear examples for narcissistic traits, tendencies, and behaviors, that does not automatically make them a narcissist.
While the former can certainly lead to the latter, the truth of the matter is that narcissism (like many, many other mental health conditions) is an extremely complicated tribulation -- NOT JUST for the narcissist themselves, but for the people in their direct orbit as well, due to the destruction narcissists commonly leave in their wake.
As I had the pleasure of learning, the term 'narcissist' hails from the Greek mythological figure Narcissus, who was an attractive young man who fell so in love with the image of his reflection in a pool of river water that he could not pull away from it for any reason.
Echo and Narcissus (1903) -- JOHN WILLIAM WATERHOUSE
Narcissus ceased eating, ceased drinking, ceased doing anything else that wasn't admiring his own reflection until he eventually passed away by the riverbank. When nymphs went looking for Narcissus, they instead found a flower in his body's place, which they named after Narcissus.
The Narcissus, a member of the Daffodil family.
While this story is... kind of hilarious, it also serves as a warning against extreme levels of self-adulation and vanity.
And that's exactly what narcissism entails. Adding onto the definition of narcissism at the start of this read, a narcissist is also defined as someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. (No, empathy is not a "made-up term" like some allege.)
There were many, many places Niki and I could've taken this conversation, but as usual on Mentality Monday, we combined documented, professional psychological work with our own personal anecdotes and societal examples. We outlined the main markers and traits of a narcissist, as well as the different types of narcissism that exist: covert narcissism being chief among them.
There are celebrities that have either been officially diagnosed with NPD, such as Nick Cannon, or celebrities that have been closely associated with the disorder due to extreme pattern recognition, such as Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, and others. Niki and I held a discussion about how the 'celebsphere' can serve as a breeding ground for narcissism... for obvious reasons.
What about ourselves? Yes, Niki and I even discussed our OWN narcissistic traits and tendencies. Like I always say, self-awareness is a superpower; and that's especially true when either dealing with narcissistic behaviors within ourselves AND when dealing with a narcissist in our orbit, whether in the form of a family member, close friend, coworker, or partner/spouse.
In fact, Niki actually took the liberty of giving ME a test on my own narcissistic behaviors. Did I meet the markers for potential NPD diagnosis? Did I finally beat the allegations? You'll just have to listen to the pod to find out.
This episode is just Part 1 of a series we'll be doing on narcissism, so stay tuned for future discussions on the topic! For now, enjoy our opening salvo on narcissism, narcissistic traits, and NPD below. The episode is available for your listening pleasure wherever you get your podcasts.
